A lot of words to say: Jesus.

posted in: Faith | 0

I really, really enjoy anything that is artsy or crafty.

I crochet. I hand letter and doodle. I bullet journal. I scrapbook. I write. Occasionally I make jewelry, too. I have knitting needles begging me to learn to knit. And a sewing machine that wants me to quilt.

I just want to make all the things – literally.

For years I’ve been brainstorming ways to merge all my online identities, which for some ridiculous reason I felt the need to split between the creative outlets I love. Do you have any idea how impossible it is to post, interact, sell, and keep up with so many different parts of yourself?

You know what? I just want to be ME in ONE place. All of me. I don’t want to care about followings or likes or selling or platforms.

Honestly, what I realize as I’m writing this, is that I’ve been trying too hard to find my worth in sales and followings and it has left me scattered and empty and feeling like I have no direction or purpose in life. I have spent less time being creative and too much time trying to become something “awesome.” Whatever that means – I still can’t say for sure what I wanted so badly the last several years and never found.

I have been trying so hard to share so many things so many places – so be “awesome” at being creative. But let me tell you, it hasn’t had the amazing “awesome” outcome I was hoping for. I could totally be doing it wrong, but see – I just don’t want to have to TRY that hard to be MYSELF. I already KNOW I am awesome at creating.

Because Jesus.

JESUS! I have no where I am sharing JESUS anymore. Who, really, should be shared in and with all I do, because I didn’t just become creative – I know I was created to BE creative.

My creativity is a God-given GIFT. It brings me joy, sanity, pleasure, release. Sometimes, my creations and musing even bring others joy, too.

Because I know I was created to be creative, then I also know my creative endeavors are for only one purpose: God’s purpose.

I don’t have to shape my creative outlets into what I think the world wants to see, because I create at the pleasure of my Lord and Savior. I don’t need to be concerned with followings or likes or themes or selling hats that look like Sesame Street characters I can’t stand.

All this to help me say: I’m done. I’m done trying to chase after dreams that have nothing to do with finding fulfilling purpose and everything to do with the ever elusive “platform” which is really just what we called “popularity” in before the invention of social media.

I’m going to make what I want, design what I want, and I’m going to GIVE IT ALL AWAY while I sit back and ENJOY the amazing community of makers around the world that I’ve found (thanks to social media, ironic).

I’m going to write whatever is weighting heavy on my heart, and share it out.

I’m going to pray that whatever I make, design, give, write or share will be used for God’s purposes.

I’m going to rest in the knowledge that God doesn’t need me to orchestrate anything grand FOR Him. He’s got this, not me.

He created me with the gift of creativity. The reason? To create. Not for fame or fortune. For Him. However that looks once he is done will be a beautiful, awesome thing that surpasses sales, follows and likes.

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